Sunday, May 20, 2007
Confidence builder
(19 May 2007) Saturday's msg was really gd...it really impacted my heart & touches my spirit within...Talks about forgiveness...Pastor preaches bout forgiveness before & what a great reminder...In my heart, i hold unforgiveness...a person who i have not forgive all my life...The person is none other than ME myself....I will always hate myself for disappointments and failures...will always blame myself for not doing gd enough....One of the things i really lack is confidence! Everytime i wanna give a speech, and i know what i should say but when its time to say, i will forget everything im suppose to say...i cant talk well sometimes...will have loopholes...that however really bring my faith level down...i always wanted to be a cell leader...i love to serve! but always i will tell myself if i can't talk well, how am i gonna be a leader...Along the way, this past few weeks, im been really down, disappointed...I wanna help the pple in cell to help them grow...God placed them into my hands...but all i get is either they are nt doing well, M.I.A., P.O.,backslide....that somehow really gave me a reason to blame myself....Who's my enemy? the person you see every morning in the relection of the mirror...thank God! really thank God for the word in season...My leader told me this: My confidence should be from God not from men., Approval from God not from men, Whatever i do, do it for Him...Let God help me win the battle within me...That night i was broken before God and praying hard for God to give me the solution to overcome all that & God said the way to booast your confidence is really to read My Word, prayer and building a really strong relationship with ME that you never done before...As you do all this, I will begin to mold ur character and build my confidence...My Word is not just a book but the words will bring healing!! God is so crystal clear when He said that to me...And God reminded me of a story in the Bible, about the Leaper, how Jesus adore him, healed him and love him....i really cant help but to think how he was like before he met Jesus...The leaper's parents disowned him and his in the streets...hiding from the crowds, not letting anyone see how ugly, rotten he is...Even when people in the streets spotted him, everyone will never ever stay close to him....everyone calls him dirty!! dirty!! dirty!! Freak!!! freak!!! Disgusting!!! No one!! not a single person stop by for him...No one!! But theres one person, standing in front of him, looking at him, smiled at him and gave him a hug that no one gave him before...The leaper was so so so broken...He weeped...Jesus!! im not worthy!! everyone is avoiding me...i have no reason to live!! Jesus smiled and healed him!! Jesus adored him like no one had before...My past may not be as worse as the leaper's...But God reminded me how much he really loves me!!! Tears flowed out of my eyes...
Retro;
FEVER.7:32 AM
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